


Things Are Happening

by colourful_curiosity



Category: Dangan Ronpa, Homestuck, Macklemore (Musician), Mahou Shoujo Madoka Magika | Puella Magi Madoka Magica, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Shrek Series, Vocaloid
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Gen, Multiple Crossovers, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-03-25
Updated: 2014-07-01
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:06:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,721
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1368301
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/colourful_curiosity/pseuds/colourful_curiosity
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If Shinji thought his first year of highschool was hard, at least he didn't have to deal with murderous undead magical girls, possibly unrequited crushes on 30 year old american rappers, repeated kidnappings and the existence of Eridan Ampora. Unfortunately, this is his second year, and he had to deal with all of this, plus more.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A very Anime morning routine

"Shinji! You're going to be late for school!"

Gendo's voice bellowed throughout the house, reaching his son with ease and causing him to jolt awake. Shinji grumbled and blinked lazily, the sunlight streaming through the gaps in his curtains and warming his face gently. The young Ikari boy's dreams had been plagued with the most bizarre and extraordinary scenes for years now, so much so that the pleasant nights sleep he had gotten was almost disconcerting. Sluggishly he dragged himself upright, rubbing his eyes with one arm and propping himself up with the other. It had been a relatively boring summer break, although that certainly didn't mean he wanted to return to school just yet. "Better get it over with..." he mumbled to himself, dragging his body out of bed without thinking, letting his body do the work his barely-awake brain couldn't.

By the time he was completely awake, he was already halfway down the stairs, fully dressed. This was his second year of highschool, but luckily the plain button shirt, black trousers and tie that he had bought for his first year still fit him well enough. He walked the last few steps into the kitchen and was greeted by the sight of his father cooking breakfast, donned in his apron like usual.

"Good morning, Shinji. Did you sleep well?" asked Gendo, popping a few slices of toast into the toaster (despite it already being toast.) "Mm-hmm" Shinji replied absentmindedly, pouring himself a glass of orange juice. He gazed at the yellowish-red liquid as it entered his glass, not really caring that he poured too much and splashed some of it on the table. Gendo glared at him coldly through his glasses, clearly not pleased with his behavior. Noticing this, Shinji looked away sheepishly and quickly tried to change the mood. "So... Where's Misato this morning?" He asked between sips of his drink. Gendo turned away just as the toast finished re-toasting, moving to catch it as it popped up. Unfortunately toast doesn't actually fly in the air as it pops, as that would be inconvenient and messy, so he ended up waving his hand around above the toaster pointlessly. "Misato's out on top secret business, Shinji. I'd love to tell you what she's doing, but it would take too long and you've only got four minutes to get to school. "W-what?!?!" Shinji yelled, jumping out of his seat. In one swift movement he downed his orange juice, grabbed a single piece of toast in his mouth and dashed out of the door with only a quick "Byedadseeyoulater" in Gendo's direction. Sighing, Gendo returned to cooking his own breakfast, swinging his hips in a rather out of character fashion. (Or maybe it really is in character. Who knows, Gendo Ikari is a rather mysterious man.)

Gasping, Shinji ran as fast as his legs would carry him to school. He outright refused to be late on his first day back, no matter the costs. Skidding round a corner, he crashed rather painfully straight into another person. "Ah, I'm sorry!" he tried to say as he pulled himself to his feet, the words slightly muffled by the toast between his teeth. Blinking in the sunlight, he looked up at whoever he had so rudely crashed into, only to find it was none other than the most popular boy in class- no, perhaps the most popular boy in school- Macklemore.

Stumbling backwards, Shinji's face flushed redder than it had ever been in his life, stuttering and spluttering over his words. Macklemore only smiled gently, placing a hand gently on Shinji's shoulder, and gently stepped towards him as he gently moved his had up to Shinji's face, gently caressing his cheek with a touch gentler than anything he had ever felt in his life. Shinji could barely think, only just processing how hot the air around him had suddenly become. And then, after what had felt like forever, Macklemore opened his mouth slowly.

"Man, that's gay."

And all of a sudden all the blood rushing to his face proved too much for Shinji as his knees turned weak, his arms spaghetti. Macklemore caught him as he fainted, Scooping up the unconscious Anime boy into his arms and cradling him into the fur of his big ass coat. Laughing lightly, Macklemore concentrated his pure rapper energy into his legs, and leaped high into the air, soaring above the buildings below. Holding Shinji tightly he landed with a crash, rather conveniently on the School roof. And then, without saying a word, he gently put Shinji down, and disappeared just as the school bell rung, waking Shinji with a jump.

This was going to be one strange year.


	2. A fresh start

Shinji burst into the classroom just as the teacher read his name out. Quickly apologizing about his lateness, he scanned the room and settled on taking a seat next to a blonde girl he vaguely recognized from his previous school. She looked him up and down, and he squirmed under her gaze. Whatever it was she was looking for, she seemed to be satisfied and stuck out her hand for him to shake. He took it quickly, hoping she didn't notice how sweaty his palms were. "H-hello! My name's Shinji." he said, cursing internally at his stammering. "Junko Enoshima" she replied, smiling in what looked like an attempt to be friendly, but mostly came off as creepy and a little bit frightening. She was a little bit taller than him, and probably older, if he had to guess. She broke the handshake after about a minute and turned away from him suddenly, as if she had lost interest already. 

Shinji glanced idly around the classroom, trying to see if there was anybody he recognized. He could name at least seven of his classmates, two of which were friends of his, Madoka Kaname and Kagamine Len. Madoka was sitting near the back of the class, talking to a blushing black haired girl he didn't recognize. Len, on the other hand, was sitting just two desks away from Shinji, but had headphones on and couldn't hear a word that was said to him. And so Shinji was left all alone with his new pigtailed acquaintance who apparently wanted nothing to do with him, there being nobody else in the class he could consider a friend.

Or was there?

Opening his eyes, which were closed, his gaze fell upon the fur coated man at the front of the class. His cheeks reddened as he stared, remembering what happened that morning. 

What even did happen that morning? Shinji struggled to collect his thoughts, but he couldn't make sense of the events. He had never talked to the rapper before in his life, yet now there seemed to be a magnetic force pulling them together. He wondered what would have happened if he hadn't had fainted. Maybe, just maybe, it could have unfolded like a romance story, in which their fates become binded after a chance meeting before school. Of course, that would be far more likely in anime, and this is not anime, Ikari Shinji of Neon Genesis Evangelion thought to himself.

His thoughts were cut short by the sound of the classroom door being slammed open. Everyone except for Madoka- who was too busy making out with the black haired girl she sat with- and Macklemore, who was obviously above all of this, looked up in time to see a student strut into the classroom, his hips swinging as he walked. Every one of his features burned into their minds, from his blue stripped trousers to his thick rimmed hipster glasses. He wore and eternal frown, squinting and pouting at everyone as he stopped in front of the class. He trust his hip to the side and placed his hand on it, tapping his bright purple shoes as he did.

"Mr. Ampora, you're late."

Eridan's head swung to the side with a snap, and he growled at the teacher slightly. "I'm not late, you impertinant fish-fucking brinesucker, evveryone else wwas just really fucking early." He said with a venomous tone, his voice nasal and with a clear emphasis on certain vowels that grinded at everyone's ears, Shinji included. Barely anyone noticed his voice, however, as they were too busy being flawed by his brilliant logic. The teacher mearly shrugged, pointing Eridan to his seat. But he didn't sit down. Instead he glared at everyone individually as he stood there still, lingering on Shinji especially. Shinji shrunk down into his seat, wishing he could just disappear and escape that judgmental gaze. "This class isn't evven wworth my precious time" Eridan scoffed, turning to face the teacher. "You havven't evven givven them any wwork to do! Pathetic, wworthless human." 

It was that exact moment that the room brightened slightly. Macklemore rose from his seat slowly, barely looking at the fish-troll-alien-boy-man-thing as he did. He was literally illuminated, and everything seemed to hang in the air, as if the world was his and it waited eagerly for him to speak.

"You're an asshole."

Tears streamed from Shinji's eyes. It was quite possibly the most beautiful speech he had ever heard. Slowly he began to clap without even realizing it. Soon others followed suite, and within seconds Macklemore had a standing ovation. Eridan shrunk away into a corner, trying his best to come up with a comeback over the sound of the classes cheers and whoops. "Y-yeah... wwell.... wwhy do you evven GO to this school?" he yelled just as everyone quieted down. "Wwhy is there an adult rapper in a highschool? Wwhy aren't wwe questioning this?" he yelled. Before Macklemore could give an answer, Eridan had ran out of the room, tears streaming from the humiliation. "I'LL GET YOU FOR THIS, MACKLEMORE, AND YOU'RE LITTLE ANIME BOY TOO!" Macklemore merely turned and smiled at Shinji, who embarrassedly tried to avoid he gaze. 

And just as he returned to his seat, the bell rung, signifying the end of their ridiculously short lesson.


	3. The fanfiction that time (almost) forgot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry I haven't updated this in so long! I honestly forgot I had even started it.
> 
> I think my writing style has changed since the first two chapters, but hopefully it isn't enough of a difference to make it distracting...
> 
> Also, thankyou for the feedback so far! As per one comment, I'm adding Shrek's Donkey to the character roster. I'm always open for more suggestions!

Shuffling through the hallway with a sigh, Shinji slowly made his way to his second lesson. It was almost unbearably crowded, and unfortunately due to his less than average height, Shinji often found himself quite suddenly thrust into the sweaty armpit of many the school's teenage otaku. A fact which many of them almost seemed to enjoy. Being the protagonist of a successful Anime franchise makes life hard, especially when the majority of the fans either think you're a whiny crybaby, or that you should be making out with handsome, grey haired aliens. 

Lost in thought of dreamboys that probably don't exist in this universe, Shinji didn't even notice when, once again, he was quite forcibly shoved sideways into another student. That was, however, until exactly who that student was registered, and he slowly looked up, straight into the awaiting eyes of none other than Eridan Ampora himself. 

"Wwell, wwell, wwell. Wwhat do wwe- wwait, shit. Let me try that again." He cleared his throat several times, and Shinji found himself glancing around for the emergency exit of this conversation. But before he could escape Eridan's fishy grasp, a grey hand suddenly clamped down on his shoulder, and Shinji was forced to meet his eyes yet again. "Wwell look here, if it isn't Ikari!" he said, this time making sure not to stumble over his Ws as often. Leaning forward, he spoke right into Shinji's ear (in the least homoerotic way possible. "You're coming wwith me, landdwweller." He said with a smirk, and suddenly began to drag Shinji down the now empty hallways.

(Because this conversation, if you weren't aware, had gone on far to long to be comfortable for anyone.)

After several minutes of being dragged by the arm, during which Shinji apparently made no complaints or attempts to escape Eridan's grasp, he found himself being roughly shoved into an empty classroom. Making sure to lock the door behind him, Eridan turned back to Shinji, snarling.  "I don't knoww if you noticed, but I wwasn't vvery happy wwhen that ovverglorified rapper pointed out the only one of my character traits that made it into this Fanfic. Not fuckin' happy at all." Shinji blinked twice, trying to figure out what the Troll boy meant by 'Fanfic'. Stepping forward again, Eridan let out a smirk. "Unfortunately, as it so happens, even I knoww not to mess with 'The Great Proffessor Macklemore IIIV'." He continued, spitting out what was apparently Macklemore's full name in a fake falsetto. Stepping forward yet again, he looked straight at Shinji with a glint in his eye. "But at least I'vve got the next best thing." He said, pulling out his legendary rifle. (Which was, unfortunately, not an innuendo.)

"W-wait!" Said shinji, his voice panicky and sore from barely speaking since chapter one. He hurried backwards until he hit the opposite wall, and took to cowering against it. "This doesn't make any sense! I- I barely even know him! We spoke for the first time this morning, which you shouldn't even know about!" Eridan only advanced towards him, choosing to ignore the lampshading of the lack of continuity.  "Don't you knoww, Shinji? I'm the vvilain. Which means..." he took another step forward, pressing his rifle against Shinji's stomach. 

"I knoww evverything."

Suddenly, the heavy atmosphere of the situation was broken entirely by an unexpected yawn. Turning their heads to face the source, the two boys were shocked to discover that this was indeed not an empty classroom, like they thought, and they stared as a figure moved sleepily out of the shadows. "Man, what is WITH all this noise?" Came a surprisingly Eddie Murphy-like voice, followed by the reveal of a creature Shinji would never have expected to have seen in a highschool building.

"...That's a Donkey." Shinji stated, finally breaking the silence.

"So it is." Eridan followed with, word apparently failing the both of them.

Donkey gazed at the two questioningly, clearly not comprehending the gravity of the situation. Although, at this point, there wasn't much gravity left to it. Stepping back, Eridan put away his Rifle, and Shinji breathed a sigh of relief. "What in the hell is going on here, anyway?" Donkey asked, glancing back and forth between the other two. Brushing back his greasy hair, Eridan grimaced and looked away. "Nothin' wwas goin' on, okay?" he said, and he turned to face the window. With one dramatic movement, he pulled it open, and moved to lean on the windowsill. "This isn't the last you'll see of me, Ikari. You hear me?" he spat, glaring at the smaller boy. Shinji shifted uncomfortably between each foot. "Well, I mean, we are in the same class and everything..." he said quietly, to which Eridan snarled at.  "I wwas trying to be dramatic, you bulgesniffing loser!" He said, and with a swish of his cap, disappeared out the window. 

"...Well, that wasn't very nice!" Donkey stated, turning away. Trotting back to where he'd be napping beforehand, his stopped suddenly, and turned back to where Shinji was still standing. "Say... isn't this a third story classroom?" He asked, to which Shinji's eyes widened. Spinning round, they both went to the window, and looked down to see Ampora collapsed upon the grass below, surrounded by confused students. He didn't move at all, and nearby Shinji could just make out Madoka, crying on a friend's shoulder. Now that he thought about it, he could see his entire class there. Enoshima... Len... everyone, it seemed, except...

Just as Shinji thought this, the door behind him rattled. Despite supposedly being locked, it opened easily, as if it knew exactly who was opening it. And who was opening it? Of course, none other than Macklemore, smiling gracefully as the door swung gently open in front of him. The Illuminating light that came from behind him almost created the effect of a halo, and both Shinji and Donkey were left speechless. It was beauty, but not just regular beauty. The kind of beauty that has so much beauty, it was like a higher level of beautiful-ness. it was beautifully beautiful beauty, and absolutely divine. Finally, after what had seemed like exactly fourty six seconds (because it was,) Macklemore opened his mouth.

"Yo."

And Shinji felt his Kokoro flutter more intensely than it ever had in his entire life.


End file.
